I used to be a kayak guide on the Red River in Qc and out on Vancouver Island, BC. I was never really any good at kayaking, but I got to a level where I was comfortable enough to float down the river backwards while keeping a watchful eye on my clients.
Most of my clients had never been in a kayak before, never-mind a flowing river! So concentration and focus were two skills that I quickly developed. I normally got stuck with the real newbies, the ones who’s only goal was to just enter the current and get back to shore in one piece. I kept my boat pretty close to theirs, and often knew when they would flip before they did. And when they did flip, the action started.
So…If you flip over in a kayak, you are supposed to calmly reach down and pull the safety handle that releases your skirt from around the cockpit of the kayak. But most of the time, the shock of being upside down in raging white water, while floating down a river tends to unsettle people’s nerves. Often, a slight delay of a couple of seconds while they try to get their bearings and pull the strap is normal. So my job was to take a couple powerful strokes (I was already on my way before their head submerged), grab a hold of their boat with both hands and simultaneously flip myself upside down while flipping them the right side up.
We called it the Hand of G-d. We’d reach down and return their gasping lungs to the oxygen rich air above.
But for a brief moment, while I was on my way under the surface and they were coming up…our eyes would lock in a magnificent millisecond of existence. Their mouth would fire wide open and inhale as much air as they could, and their eyes would scream “thank you”, “holy shit”, and “you never said that was going to happen”. And the water poured down their face as a smile erupted from within. And I saw it all.
I did this for a summer, repeatedly witnessing people who were completely engaged in the moment. And I was right there with them. I learned to crave that moment of eye contact where I too could completely leave my life behind. Thoughts of unpaid bills, lost loves and endless lists of chores…they all evaporated during that instant.
So now I’m a photographer. And I spend my time paying bills, lamenting lost loves and pouring over my to do lists…but sometimes, once in a while I capture a moment where it all comes back to me. In an instant I capture that feeling and emotion I knew intimately while guiding kayaking.
The cruel irony of it is that I don’t get to actually be part of that special moment anymore. My body tenses as I wink through my camera’s viewfinder, one eye closed, one eye watching and knowing that the moment to depress the shutter is nearing…and then the moment arrives. Poof! Darkness. The shutter opens and closes at the exact right moment, capturing the essential but leaving me briefly blind and cut off from everything. And I don’t get to see it. I know instinctively if I got the shot or not. But I’m only witness to the before and after.
So, there ya have it. I dig moments.
- p.s. The shot above is of Max Fisher on the Gold River on Vancouver Island. That dude has gills, is a sick paddler, and has probably given more HAND jobs than me.
